Complementarianism in the Church

So far, we have discovered how differing roles for men and women are grounded in God’s design from the very beginning and how that plays out within the marriage relationship. Today, we will investigate the second area of life that complementarianism speaks to: leadership in the local church.

Or, maybe, to say it in another way… we’ve seen how it pays out in our house, and now, we will see what God says about His house.

This is probably where most of the heated discussion lives because the way some relevant scriptures are presented makes it seem like the men are telling the women what they can or cannot do. I pray that once we are finished here, you will see these God-inspired words in a new light that gives life… not restricts it.

To begin, I think it would be helpful to define our terms. When discussing leadership in the church, I am talking about the two primary offices that Scripture gives: Elder and Deacon.

These offices are expressly mentioned by Paul and have qualifications attached to them. For the sake of time, I will do my best to give the relevant details in brief points and leave the in-depth conversation for another time.

‌Deacons

First, we have the office of Deacon. What is a deacon, and who can be a deacon?

• A deacon is a servant of the church. The term deacon refers to an ordinary servant or this specific office (see John 2:9 and Phil 1:1, respectively).
• A deacon does not have direct authority over anyone in the church but is tasked to meet the practical needs of the congregation (see Acts 6).
• A deacon must meet specific moral and character requirements (see 1 Tim 3:8-13).
• These requirements are given for men deacons (vv. 8-10;12-13) and women deacons (women explicitly addressed in verse 11).
• Phoebe is listed as a Deacon of a specific church in Cenchreae (Acts 16:1).

Therefore, we affirm that both men and women can serve in this role.

‌Elders

This is where, I would argue, that most of the debate takes place, and hotly, I might add, because of how specific texts have been interpreted and certain words have been defined.

‌Do women really have to keep silent on Sunday?

So, let’s get the hardest one out of the way, shall we?

Probably one of the most “offensive” texts is found in 1 Corinthians 14:33-35, which says:

​1 Corinthians 14:33–35 (ESV)

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church.

We could spend hours unpacking this text, but again, for the sake of time, let me come at it from a 30,000 foot view.

In the same letter, Paul confirms that in the gathered assembly, women can pray (1 Cor. 11:13) and prophesy (1 Cor. 11:5), so we should not make a blanket statement that women should keep quiet at all times on Sunday mornings. Sadly, this passage is widely misused, which is part of the reason why people fight against it (and rightly so if that is how it is being presented).

The context of 1 Cor. 14 is the interpretation of prophecy. This is where anyone is told to keep silent if there is no interpreter (v. 28). But if there is one, the interpreter should be male. Why? Because the interpreter is the one to weigh and give meaning to what is said through the prophecy, which makes their conclusions authoritative, and authoritative decisions are the responsibility of an Elder/Overseer/Pastor, which we will get to next.

I believe the authoritative interpretation is what Paul is limiting to men here, thereby asking the women to remain silent while this is happening and ask their husbands at home if they don’t understand it at the moment. That is the only restriction here, because again, earlier in the same letter, women are encouraged to pray and prophesy so they can’t be silent in the broad sense.

Are we good here? Great. Let’s move on to a definition of an Elder, then.

‌Elder/Pastor/Overseer

Like Deacons, an Elder is a leadership position/office in the church (not simply a title or function) and also comes with specific requirements.

For the requirements, see 1 Timothy 3:1-7; 5:17-19, Titus 1:5-9, and 1 Peter 5:1-5. You’ll notice that many of the same moral and character qualities are identical. Still, there are further requirements that only apply to Elders: to teach, exercise oversight, be hospitable, and be a mature believer (not a recent convert).

What’s interesting about this position/office is how three different words are used to describe it and are used interchangeably in scripture:

• Elder – presbuteros (as seen in 1 Timothy 5:17)
• Pastor (Shepherd) – poimēn (as seen in Eph. 4:11)
• Overseer – episkopos (As seen in Phil. 1:1)

Here is a helpful Venn diagram to see how they overlap:

In these texts, this office is given to qualified men who live their lives in a manner that is above reproach as God’s stewards. They have delegated authority to manage God’s house and his people. There is also no reference to women Elders or the wives of Elders as we see with the qualifications for Deacons, and there are no women Elders mentioned in scripture (like we saw for Phoebe in a Deacon role).

A common argument today is that women can be Pastors but not Elders, but as you can see, all three terms are interchangeable and, therefore, cannot be separated. If you are one, you are all three, and these scriptures clearly limit the position to men… not because women aren’t capable or component… but because that is God’s design. And as I said from the beginning – we are at our best and glorify God the most when we operate in the ways He has designed us.

‌Men exercise authority

The final scripture I want to review with you today is from 1 Timothy 2:12-13, which says:

​1 Timothy 2:12–13(ESV)

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve;

This is one of the most plainly stated prohibitions in the New Testament concerning a woman’s function in the gathered assembly and reinforces man’s responsibility as Elder/Pastor/Overseer. I encourage you to read chapters 1-3 together to see the flow of Paul’s thought process in its fullness. It goes like this:

Chapter 1 – Gives the opening pleasantries before Paul gets to the main points he wants Timothy to understand. Paul encourages Timothy in his calling, his stance against false teachers, to praise Jesus, and ends with a charge to Timothy to be faithful to his entrusted message.

Chapter 2 – Describes how Paul wants believers to act in the church, gathering everywhere (v. 8). There is a description of how men should act and then a description of how women should act.

Chapter 3 – Goes even further into detail about church function, giving the qualifications of Elders/Overseers (vv. 1-7) and then Deacons (vv. 8-13). Then, as a summary, Paul ends the church discussion with why he said what he said: so that Timothy can know how all believers are to behave in the household of God.

Do you see the progression? All of chapters 2 and 3 pertain to how men and women operate in the gathered assembly in the household of God… not just in one city, but in every church, everywhere. For us, that is the Sunday morning gathering.

And it is in this context that we find the command for men to be in authority, not the other way around. Some have suggested this was a 1st-century cultural distinction (such as the women of the temple cult in Ephesus), but Paul doesn’t appeal to culture, and as we just saw, this is a command for all churches. What Paul does appeal to is Genesis – the very beginning – the design of Adam and Eve. Paul takes it full-circle to the complementary roles issued in the created order.

‌Final Thoughts

So, to summarize the discussion, God has given instructions about how He wants his household to run. The discussion of church leadership isn’t about men trying to keep their place of prominence by dictating where women can and cannot serve. On the contrary, we recognize how God has established His house.

Men and women serve in multiple levels of volunteerism and leadership. Together, men and women worship, pray, prophesy, and serve in official and unofficial capacities. Even the elected office of Deacon is open to women and men who meet the qualifications. Jesus even modeled this in His ministry. Women and men were active during His earthly ministry and in the expansion of the gospel in the book of Acts.

The one limitation God sets in the church is the authoritative, governing leadership of the Elder/Pastor/Overseer. This is also how Jesus modeled ministry. While men and women operated at multiple levels, the 12 disciples were men. And in the church, the governing leadership role is exclusively for men for the same reasons why husbands are to lead their households. They are to take the heavy mantel and responsibility on their shoulders to lead with sacrificial love and care, as a shepherd sacrificially cares for his sheep, leading on Christ as their authority to lead and govern with spiritual wisdom so that the flock can flourish and everyone can grow as they serve in the ways God has gifted them.

Continue in the series:

Intro | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4